I'm here to blog at some unearthly hour because I'm doing my assignment. Rendering one image already took so long. Imagine rendering the animation!

Anyway there's a lot of things going through my mind at the moment.

Just withdraw money from my acc the other day so that I can give my mum to put inside the GIRO. Once again, i'm left with double digits in my acc. This time round, money is really stretch to the limit. I still need to cut hair, do some new year shopping and also print out the assignments that can easily cost up to ten, twenty plus dollars and also not to forget returning money and getting gifts. Speaking of which, I'm glad I didn't quit my job at qnm because i realise that after itp, I still have to continue working to get the money for the final year. Luckily I listen to my mum and not act irrationally even though it's kind of *insert emotions* to be working there.

Anyway, my brother's friend said that in this course, I must find my goal in it. It's not about deadlines and more deadlines but the interest and purpose behind ... I know... I really need to start focusing on this aspect and not just work for the sake of deadlines. Remember what I said about not becoming an interior designer next time, actually I do feel sad when I said that because I know deep down, I do have an interest. I just have to break through all the silly thoughts of I can't do it etc. I know I can do it and I will do it.

This year I'm going to be 20. Wow the '2'. Time really pass by super fast, there are so many people that I miss. I really wish we can talk like how we use to be back then. In a way, you can say that I am greedy. After all I use to have such memorable time with the friends, now that it's over I shouldn't be upset. But why must it be history and not present. Must everything good become history? I really don't understand about this.

I decide not to go for the class chalet this coming month. Mainly because I know that it will not be fun, therefore no point spending money when I'm really going broke. It's not about being pessimistic but sometimes hanging around with the clique requires you to have the same high frequency of hyper and 'funness'. For me, I'm not always that high and when our frequency don't match, I will end up being left out. It comes to a point whereby I don't really know what is the feel of true friendship anymore?

What our CSW teacher told us the other day is really motivating and inspiring. We were discussing about the topic, dream job. And she said she have a room mate who get uni degree and honor but she is now a store assistant mixing bubble tea. To her, that's her dream job. As for my teacher, she said, she is doing what she love most right now and it's teaching. These simple words are enough to set my thoughts going. What do I like to do in life ...

I guess enough blogging for today. Hopefully tomorrow I can wake up on time and not set my alarm at 9 and only wake up at 11 plus.

it's 9:18 AM now