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BoldItalicUnderlined. Welcome to insertyoururlhere.blogspot.com

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Hello!Most of you know that i'm happy.That doesn't mean that my real name is happy because my mother call me sad.My friends calls me gay.

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January 2008 October 2008 November 2008 December 2008 January 2009 February 2009 April 2009 May 2009 June 2009 July 2009 August 2009 September 2009 October 2009 November 2009 December 2009 January 2010 February 2010 March 2010 April 2010 May 2010 June 2010 August 2010 November 2010 December 2010 January 2011 April 2011

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ME:kynzgerl
CODES:consp!re.affa!r
IMAGES:12

Thursday, January 29, 2009
29/1

I got a shock when i look into the mirror this morning. I wonder who is this girl staring back at me with super dark eye circles and eyebags!!!

GOSH NEXT FRIDAY IS THE SUBMISSION AND I'M STILL NOT DONE WITH A LOT OF MY THINGS!!!

I KNOW I CAN DO IT. I CAN FEEL THE BELIEF IN MYSELF.

Anyway listening to Marriage D amour on youtube now because apparently I just heard someone playing it from across the Blk.

I kind of miss hearing Ju playing for me and also the melody that Am that also play for me.

I miss having friends who will play piano specially for me.

it's 4:52 AM now

Monday, January 26, 2009
27/1

Today is a brand new day (:

Going to Da Jiu jia to bai nian later in the day. Yay, that means I can dress up pretty from head to toe(: I'm so in love with the heels!!!

HaHa, anyway I am looking forward to school tomorrow despite the fact that I haven't touch my auto viz assignment because I am still not making any progress and the thing is, there is no one to consult >.< Yesterday night while i am on the verge of sinking to Dreamland, I realised something. 6th Feb is NEXTWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK.
freak out Pictures, Images and Photos

it's 4:28 PM now

Sunday, January 25, 2009
26/1

Something causes me to waver again.

But I promise that this shall be the last emo post. I will make myself happy! Nobody can pull me down, not even the projects that are not even half way done yet it's all due on 6th Feb.

Talking about assignments, I sort of give up on the Autoviz last night and when to sleep because I really cannot take it anymore. Too bad there is no school today so there is no one for me to consult. Never mind today is a brand new day for me to tackle the animation in Autoviz ... (:

So back to emoing ... I really should stop it because if it's due to that guy, it's seriously not worth it. Before he came, I'm a happy girl due to a great bunch of friends and I'm so focus on my assignments and at the same time find joy in doing it. But after he came, his ever changing attitude is too much for me, it's neither a yes or no but hanging in the air. I dislike to 'dan lian', it's so frustrating, stupid and annoying. It's time to stop it.

It's time to be back to a happy girl on this new niu year (:

HAPPY NIU YEAR TO ALL (:

it's 9:41 PM now

26/1

Felt rather awkward yesterday but anyway, marina square sure is big >.<

Anyway I am feeling better now because i think i sort of know why i am so emo
  1. he likes someone but who is the mysterious girl
  2. my friend likes him as well and together we will always emo
  3. he's blowing hot and cold
  4. i saw him with a girl on friday
Anyway

http://zodiac-signs-astrology.com/zodiac-signs/scorpio.htm

Scorpio Astrology October 23 - November 21

Scorpio Strength Keywords:

- Loyal
- Passionate
- Resourceful
- Observant
- Dynamic

Scorpio Weakness Keywords:

- Jealous
- Obsessive
- Suspicious
- Manipulative
- Unyielding

Scorpio and Independence:

Scorpios are fiercely independent. They are able to accomplish anything they put their mind to and they won't give up. They are perfectly suited to being on their own. They are not social butterflies like some other zodiac signs and some actually prefer to live on their own that way there is never any issue of who controls what at home, they like to be in control.

Scorpio and Friendship:

Relationships with Scorpio are always complicated, just like the person, their relationships are a series of extremes, they can even be downright moody for no apparent reason. Scorpios are known for their possessiveness and jealousy but on the other hand, they are extremely loyal. Scorpios have an excellent memory and combined with an inability to let things go, they can hold a grudge against someone who did them harm forever, in fact a Scorpio rarely if never forgives and forgets. They will even go as far as get vengeance on the person. On the other hand, they will always remember a kind gesture forever and repay it. Any kind selfless gesture done to a Scorpio will gain trust and respect which is extremely important to them in any relationship, either romantic or not. The best advice is to be honest with a Scorpio friend and in return, you will gain an amazing friend you will never forget and who will be loyal to you and never make false promises. Their truthful and shocking sense of humor if different than that of any other zodiac sign and the Scorpio makes an amazing, powerful interesting friend that can be trusted.

Scorpio and Business:

Scorpios make excellent doctors, surgeons, scientists and leaders, they are perfectly suited to any form of business that makes a difference in the world, greatly impacts people and society and a most importantly, Scorpio has to be in a power position, this is why these careers are suited to the Scorpio, they all demand one person in supreme control giving orders and leading a unit of people/practices. In business, Scorpios tend to easily gather wealth, they make very wise business decisions and they are very conservative about spending their money. Scorpios are known for making money and hiding it, they will not announce it due to to fear that others will take the same route and becoming a possible competitor, or worse try to use the Scorpio to their advantage to use them for their money.

Scorpio and Temperament:

Scorpios are extremely ambitious, persistent and determined which is shown through a power hungry, controlling attitude. Not in a stubborn sense however, because a Scorpio will work for what they want and control will justified reasons. This is obvious to any onlooker. A Scorpio never gives up, they are so determined to reach their goal. The key to this success is their flexibility. They are able to re-survey a situation and take a different approach if necessary. This makes them very adaptable and versatile. Scorpios are fierce competitors, combined with their powers of observation and their excellent memory, they will recall facts and when necessary, bring them to the table at the time of need. They will win justly, with proper facts and arguments to support their thoughts and opinions. Scorpios are excellent at restoring order to a chaotic situation and they are just as capable of manipulating for their own greed and benefit. The un-evolved Scorpio is a very dangerous person because they use their powers to benefit only them and step on other people in order to satisfy their own greed.

Scorpio Deep Inside:

Scorpio is the most misunderstood of all astrology signs. They are all about intensity and contradictions. They like to be aware of a situation and always know what's going on, figuring this out with their probing mind, on the other hand, they are interested in the occult, the paranormal, conspiracy theories and other types of similar unknown mysteries. They are very capable of hiding their true feelings and motivations, they often have ulterior motives or a hidden agenda.
Scorpios are all about control, they need to be in control at all times. To be out of control is very threatening, even dangerous to the Scorpio's psyche, when they control, they feel safe.
Scorpios are very emotional, their emotions are intensified, both good emotions and bad. Negative emotions of jealousy and resentment are hallmarks of this turbulent astrology sign. On the other side, Scorpios are well known for their forceful and powerful drive to succeed and their amazing dedication. Scorpios are constantly trying to understand their emotions through finding a deeper purpose in life.
Scorpios are very intuitive, but not as in a psychic sense, more as intuitive into the human mind, they have a great understanding of the mystery and the power of the human mind.
Scorpios have a fear of failure which they keep hidden extremely well, should their confrontation not be successful, or their career fail, they will simply use their adaptive skill to quickly move and and leave the bad experience behind. Do not ever expect them to fess up or share their tale with anyone however because this shows signs of weakness and Scorpio always wins, they are always the self-proclaimed best! One of the reasons they seem like they always accomplish their goals is because they set tangible short-term goals that they know they can accomplish, they know what they are capable of and this is what they go for.
Scorpios are very weary about trusting anyone, a person needs to gain their trust and this gets built up over time and once all the 'trust tests' have been passed, Scorpio loves deeply and intensely. Underneath the cool exterior, energies and emotions are constantly flowing but the Scorpio deals with this be channeling this into useful activities, hobbies, relationships or a career. This is never apparent to the outside observer but knowing this fact explains why Scorpios are so passionate about whatever it is that they are undertaking. Scorpios have powerful instincts and they trust their own gut feeling which is another reason why a Scorpio seldom fails.
The ongoing lesson in life for those born under the Scorpio zodiac signs, is to channel their powerful energy into positive goals and not succumbing to the darker forces in life such as manipulation and greed, they will then have great success in their life and have a clean, happy conscience and a circle of friends they can trust and hold dear to them.

Scorpio in a Nutshell:

Scorpio is the astrology sign of extremes and intensity. Scorpios are very deep, intense people, there is always more then meets the eye. They present a cool, detached and unemotional air to the world yet lying underneath is tremendous power, extreme strength, intense passion and a strong will and a persistent drive. Scorpios have a very penetrative mind, do not be surprised if they ask questions, they are trying to delve deeper and figure things out and survey the situation. They always want to know why, where and any other possible detail they can possibly know. Scorpio's are very weary of the games that other people try to play and they are very aware of it. Scorpios tend to dominate and control anyone that lets them, or anyone that they find weak. The person that a Scorpio respects and holds close to them is treated with amazing kindness, loyalty and generosity. On the outside, a Scorpio has great secretiveness and mystery. This magnetically draws people to them. They are known to be controlling and too ambitious but only because they need control for this makes them feel safe.

it's 9:49 AM now

Saturday, January 24, 2009
24/1

I'm here for a quick post before I proceed to clearing the table. Shall not comment about today event first because i'm not really in a good mood and i don't want to offend anybody with what i want to say.

i just want to say that i'm glad that that cny is here soon, not because i can get hongbaos or because i can slack because this year cny is all about projects and more projects. i'm just happy that i need not see that person for the next 4 days and hopefully i can clear out my thoughts by then. ironically speaking, i Wonder why do i even think so much about it.

i know i can do it, i can stop myself from having depressing thoughts and i know that i can overcome everything and complete the last lap of year 1. in the past when i am reduce to this kind of depressing state, i want to have people pushing me on but unfortunately i have come to realise that no one is really there so i will do it, on my own.

i just want him to stop toying with my feelings, giving me so much hopes yet destroying it the next moment. and i just want myself to stop being such a stupid girl. i can live happily, with or without him. i want back my old cheerful self instead of the highly emotional girl who stop smiling and laughing at every single things. i want to stop those tears that keep threatening to well out every now and then.

i can do it, yes i can. i just want to have them around me, that's enough. really want to thank cf so much because though she may not understand but at least she is the one that i can really talk to her about the issue.

apparently it has been a long time since i last wrote a long post and it's an emo post.

life is full of ironic ...

it's 4:04 AM now

Friday, January 23, 2009
fri

my heart feels so heavy, i never know that i can fall so easily from a happy person to a emoing person whose smile is strip off from the face. a small amount of the unhappiness comes from the stress that i am undergoing. the rest of it comes from a person.

i know i should stop this kind of feeling right now because this kind of feeling is rendering me useless.

i'm sad that sh will not be able to go the meeting tomorrow because she's a good listener and right now i really need someone like her. haiz. i don't know. i am still thinking whether i should go or not especially when sh is not there to jokes around.

right now i just want to be alone and walk slowly along the street with the wind blowing gently through my hair.

i know that tomorrow i will definitely be going out to the bank.
i also know that i will be going out to bugis to exchange the black clothe for the white one, plus to buy a belt and a pretty necklace plus a pair of flats that i can wear to school everyday.
the outing is the one i'm unsure of, i never feel so not hype up for reco outing, haiz, something is seriously wrong.



anyway i had my group crs presentation today. it didn't went very well and all but at least it's still alright but i'm really pissed off by a classmate whom i regard as friend. SHE'S A ------- BITCH, AN ------- WHO TRIED TO TAKE PHOTO OF K AND ME. luckily i saw what she's going to do and my quick thinking got me shifting away from K. otherwise i bet she will be using the photo and spread rumours. that bitch!!!!!!!!!!!


and for one of my module right, we had a change of lecturer and i tell you, it's like hell. too bad i can't skip any more class for this modules .

it's 5:12 AM now

Thursday, January 22, 2009

i am a idiot, i hate myself for it

it's 12:06 AM now

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

I seriously wonder why some people are such an ass. They don't know how to contribute to a group work and when you ask for their help, they say they are busy. For goodness sake, does that mean that I am free because I can actually sit down and get the ppt together.

I really don't want to disappoint Mrs Tan. I know she have a lot of hopes pinned on me but I'm afraid this time round, I will have to disappoint her.

Life is just so unfair. I guess I will just go and do my featured wall and if my conscience bother me then I will be back to do finish the ppt that is needed on Friday.

I want tomorrow lesson to pass quickly so I can go to studio and finish my shophouse. I am all ready to teach what I need to teach tomorrow and I know that I ain't really making much sense now.

Point to note, sms SH my decision for this coming Sat event.

it's 8:48 AM now

21/1

I should start on my work but my mind is preoccupied with something I shouldn't be thinking of.

I told myself when I first come to poly to focus on studies and never ever fall for someone but oh well...nature sure have a way of toying with people. I'm not too sure about my thoughts and feelings. It's just so complicated, with the school projects piling and the deadline 6th Feb drawing so close, I need to focus.

Ok, I shall start on CRS then Auto Viz then my featured wall before I go to sleep and god knows what time will it be.

it's 6:56 AM now

Saturday, January 17, 2009
18

I just read a cooursemate's blog which is a must in order to keep track of the pace.

And she said: new year is coming like in 9 freaking days!!!!!!!!!!!!!

seriously speaking someone please help me, suddenly i feel so suffocated by the panic that engulf me because 10 days after CNY it is the submission date.

i need someone to talk to. someone who will understand the situation i am in right now.

wish me all the best.

i'm so scared even though i look strong.

it's 8:27 AM now

18/jan

1st:
By keeping silence, it doesn't mean that i agree with what you are saying

2nd:
I spent almost the whole day outside home today. As such I am very behind time.

3rd:
I brought a pair of white heels at a good bargain. It reminds me of the dutch lady. And it's a 3-4 inch heels and it was love at first sight. I'm so going to make them die of jealous. Sometimes people like to joke about my height and wearing High heels but at times, they get overboard. MIND YOU I LOVE TO WEAR HEELS. THERE IS NO SUCH THINGS AS TALL PEOPLE WEAR FLATS AND SHOULD NEVER WEAR HIGH HEELS. I hate getting those remarks about later you will fall easily, or so and so.

4th:
Brought a lovely skirt from This fashion but it cost me a bomb ... actually $26+++. But it's nice. I love skirt.

5th:
I am going to stay in school until 10pm for next monday and wednesday.

6th:
I ought to bring an end to this post and continue with my auto viz.

7th:
Lastly, I have 2 presentation next week and @!#$%#

it's 8:07 AM now

Tuesday, January 13, 2009
14/1

Today the lecturer drop an atomic bomb on us. 3 weeks and that's it. In between these 3 weeks, we have to complete A LOT OF stuffs. And the best of all is that I keep getting stuck at the shop house model. I don't get what the lecturers are telling me. Today another friend teared in class but I must say that it's a really a shock, especially when she can be consider a fighter.

I am so tired, and the stupid wind kept threatening to expose me !

I may not be able to go for the outing ...

it's 10:04 PM now

Monday, January 12, 2009
12 Jan

So many things have happen these few days.

Let's talk about the happier things before dwelling on the not so happy stories. Btw, I shouldn't be here, I ought to be on the floor doing my project but I seriously need to breathe.

Queen and Mangosteen is a really nice and new restaurant at Vivo City, Had a nice good 3 hours worth of talk while dining there with my friends. HaHa, I even ordered ale to drink. Ale, my favourite(: I will be working there soon, as soon as holiday starts.

Anyway today in class I had a sudden outburst of emotion which result in tears welling up in the eyes and finally flowing freely. I felt so pek che about those people. I feel so frustrated, bottle up and while, the tears just come.

I guess I am really not use to blogging anymore, I'm just touching and go on the story of my daily life.

Haiz, one of my friend is in depression. Feels really bad about it.

HAIZ ...

kk, got to go now.

i guess details doesn't really matters nowadays because I doubt not even a fly is reading this blog.



when i'm sad, i think of you, this great friend i use to have.

i long to be able to confide to you like i use to.

it's 6:50 AM now

Wednesday, January 7, 2009
8/1

I didn't realize until I went blog-hopping around my course mate blog and realize that 28 days later, school will end!!! Like what the ____, so fast!!! And in between this period, there's a lot of projects to rush finish and tada, it's the end of first year.

It's time for me to stop dwelling on certain things and face the present.

My health is see-sawing between normal, fine and not so fine which is actually flue and cough.

NOW, is definitely not the time to fall sick!

KK, today shall rush my shop house model. Tomorrow may/may not take photos but will be watching movie at woodlands with my sister and her friends. If never take photos then do mood box. Saturday, go alone round Singapore to take 16 photos of architectural elements or interior design and end up feeling very awkard. Hopefully i don't get lost. Come home, compile and edit photos. Sunday go and print it first thing in the morning, then do whatever there's necessary which I just remember is CRS. I can't wait to get it over and done with. KK, anything else, so far not yet but I better stick my butt to the floor and start and finish my shophouse model no matter how long it take. Full concentration is needed and I will stay away from coffee!!

Damn, i seems to be talking to myself

Split personality

it's 11:32 PM now

a lot of time we thought that we are strong
but apparently i am wrong
deep within me
the possibility is deafening
it weaken me inside out

it's 4:10 AM now

7/1

demoralize ...

sort of looking forward to CNY ... suddenly i miss the cozy feeling brought about by CNY

it's 1:45 AM now

Tuesday, January 6, 2009
6 1


life is full of worries
you worry about this
you worry about there
and no one know what are you worrying about
yes there are friends around
but friends we may be
but not those that we can rely on
for comfort
for the warmth
for the happiness that can be bring to you
for the shoulder there for you
no matter whether you are sad
angry
happy
sometimes this missing friend
makes you feel so hollow
this friend who really understand you
or at least 95% understand
the friend who is always there
was once there
for me
or at least i think so in the positive manner

today is one of the day when you thought that your life is going well, you have a perfect day but things have to come crashing down

that's when i miss you again

i use to have someone that i can confide almost everything to
i miss this kind of communication


snow or winter Pictures, Images and Photos

it's 5:34 AM now