how!!! can someone stop me from thinking so much about the god damn project!

i'm stressing myself out while the rest are happily enjoying their weekends!

it's 7:44 PM now

i don't know how to said out my thoughts so i thought that perhaps it will be good if i blog it out instead.

the brochure is sort of done but i really think that it's not up to the mark. looks rather amauter but haiz you know, it's impossible to tell them because they will confirm defend like nobody business and refuse to change...

haiz... the content also, everything also need to wait for me to come out ... if i never do, nobody will volunteer. my brother say leader should be the one assigning the workload but it's more like i bao this bao that because either the group member cannot be trust with the work or nobody wish to START that segments!

it's 6:41 AM now

it's 12:39 AM now

Monday, May 24, 2010

feeling despair all of a sudden ...

not everyone is cut out to be a designer ... 勉强是没有幸福的。。。

i don't want to be an average designer that struggles each time ... if that's the case, i see no point in continuing in this line after studies.

perhaps ... 人生会因为走错一步棋而毁了。。。

it's 2:30 AM now

Sunday, May 23, 2010

i realise i can focus and think when i'm sitting down with earphones plug in for those long train rides... it's like inspirations starts coming in.

i really love the dress i saw just now at lucky plaza....

it's 12:26 AM now

Saturday, May 22, 2010

ok, i shall withdraw the thoughts of being an air stewardess because there seems to be a rise in the news with regards to aeroplane crash =|

it's 7:06 AM now

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

thinking thinking thinking ....

been seeing and hearing so much about being air stewardess. so much so that for the first time in my life, i actually say that i may consider air stewardess. unfortunately, nobody want a skinny girl. if kena air turbulence, i confirm fly to the other end of the airplane.

watching the rest of my ex classmates who are of same age as me graduating makes me feels a big ... soulful?

but honestly speaking, do i really want to work in the field i'm studying?

mum say i should stop thinking so much but ultimately i think i should list some things out so that my future wouldn't seem so mysterious.

really want to participate as roadshow promoters etc during holidays to each some quick bucks but each time they require portfolio. who will want to hire someone that wear specs ... i wish my mum let me wear makeup and contact lens....

thinking thinking thinking

it's 2:39 AM now

Sunday, May 16, 2010

it's 8:48 AM now

i hate them so much

i dun wish to see them

it's 8:07 AM now

it's becoming tiring. i'm not informed and people can mia as long as they like before they decide to reply back.

i'm reaching my breaking point soon.

it's 5:57 AM now

Saturday, May 15, 2010

this is the first time we reached there at such a late timing - 7 plus and left at such a late timing-12 plus.

AND, this is the first time i got stung by a jellyfish and trust me it's not a pleasant feeling. The stinging sensation is bearable but ... not bearable at the same time.

It's brown, fat, round, short and .... not noticeable without strong light -.-

Saw my familiar stranger again, i thought that he wasn't coming because it's already so late. i only notice his presence at 11 plus, after all me and my mum together with daniel is down at the beach for a long time.

it's a unique experience today, seeing the flower crabs moving around in the sea at such proximity.

it's 10:48 AM now

Friday, May 14, 2010

seriously speaking, SCREW YOU!

arsehole. wtf, i don't send something out in hope of getting more information and all i get is 1 short sentence only. SERIOUSLY, SHIT YOU!

bang hit kill Pictures, Images and Photos

it's 9:03 PM now

TOD THINK TANK X 2

SCRIPT

TOD LECTURE X 2

INTECH ASSIGNMENT 1

INTECH ASSIGNMENT 2

INTECH ASSIGNMENT 3

it's 8:47 PM now

Thursday, May 13, 2010

do you know why i'm so sad, angry, disappointed because when i come out with suggestions aka more work that is actually going to be helpful, they will show me black face. they don't want to sacrifice their time, their sleep, their weekend, their whatever shit! So I BAO GA LIAO? DAMN YOU GUYS SERIOUSLY, I WILL RATHER I WORK AS AN INDIVIDUAL RATHER THAN AS A GROUP WHO SERIOUSLY DOESN'T WORK LIKE A GROUP.

SHOW SOME RESPECT PEOPLE, OTHERWISE NEXT TIME JUST TAKE UP THE ROLE OF LEADER YOURSELF THEN YOU CAN SLACK ALL YOU WANT! SERIOUSLY, YOU GUYS SHOULD GO CAN SUCK THUMB AND BECOME AN INFANT AGAIN THEN YOU CAN SLEEP LIKE NOBODY BUSINESS!

it's 11:03 PM now

didn't have a good night sleep. woke up thrice in total and each time i still remember what happened yesterday.

and i have finally learnt a lesson in a hard way. from today onwards, I will not longer care so much, fret so much, worry so much, think so much for things or people who simply does not deserve such attention from me.

like what she said, she will rather see me angry then see jm angry. why? am i really that easy. sometimes when somebody doesn't blew the top doesn't means they wouldn't. i have never blew my top yet in school because i know i still have a few more months left to graduation and i don't want to create a mess because if i ever ever blew my top, things will never be the same.

ultimately mum's right, they will just be another passerby in my life after graduation. after all they always become passerby during holidays...

it's 9:51 PM now

this is the second time i shed tears because of the project and the people that are my so called friends.

if guys shouldn't let a girl shed tears, then friends should all the more not let their friend shed tears.

i did everything i can for the group. spending time trying to plan out the things to do next, trying to get everybody to think together but in the end, people just think that i think too much...

people face black nvm, i have to pretend that i'm blur and don't know. when they keep fooling around, i have to try and get them to stop fooling and do something. when they finally settle down and do some thinking, they start getting face black and frowning. They want to go home early but if the work is not done, how to go home. Do they really care about the project.

throughout my whole education journey so far, JC gave me the best impression. Nobody bully me when I'm in JC, everybody is great, I have great seniors, join a great CCA for a short 3 months, have great teachers and friends .... unfortunately all have to end after 3 months or 1 year. I had a hard time coping after I left JC because there are some friends I really miss...i only manage to get over some of the people after 1 year plus...in the end i realise, perhaps i'm just too sentimental, when other people may only regard me as a passerby in their life.

no matter how many brother or sisters i may have outside, my sis and bro are the one that i really look for in encouragement. it's their words, that really left a deep mark in my life and heal my wounds. my bro have changed ..... i can't believe i'm crying again ... but i realise suddenly that who out there really care for me. Perhaps all along ... i'm the stupid one ... who hold a person close to my heart to realise that i'm just a nobody who happen to enter their life.

no matter how strong i may look on the outside at times ... at the end, i'm still a girl, a girl who is delicate as well...

i will stop crying. i don't want my mum to worry. i burst into tears again when i spoke to her on the phone just bow but i manage to end the call with a bye ...

the breaking point comes when she wants to go home, but before that i ask she and her to print the things out so that everything will not be in a rush on monday. then for some reason, they end up fooling around again! seeing that she cannot keep her damn butt on the chair any longer, i ask her to pass her folder to me but apparently the file is damn big so it cannot be open. she very bo shuang ask me pass her my thumbdrive and in the end, when she pass me back, i saw that my old files are all wipe out and replace with her files in her harddisk. i ask her, she said, oh when i port in, your things all gone. such a simple reason, am i suppose to believe in that. so what am i suppose to do.... imagine if it's her with all her file wipe out....i'm disappointed ....i'm tired ... god why is it that some people just have to constantly see other people face while other people can so easily trample down on me

sometimes when i say i'm ok ... i want someone to look me into the eyes, hug me tight and say i know you are not...

a quote so true

it's 3:26 AM now

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

3 members are missing...Han Geng is the one that I will really miss. It's been a long time since i have go crazy over the korean singers. ~~Maybe what I want is not guy that are miles away and never real in reality.~~

it's 11:33 PM now

Monday, May 10, 2010

忽然想到他令我感到一点点开心=）

最熟悉的陌生人 =）

it's 7:01 AM now

Saturday, May 8, 2010

This is the 201st post of my dear blog.

Went out to the same out place yesterday, my haven. The sea was really pretty yesterday as its colour is the reflection of the pink and blue sky =)

It's nice to see him there again after ... 3 weeks? Was there the other week but he wasn't there. His presence there makes the place even more ..?

It's like the familiar stranger. haha

I'm thinking why mum doesn't let me wear contact lens... ya it's random but for now it's good anyway because those terrible eye bags and dark eye circles are back!

Just saw the photo of the lovely dovey couple from our class on facebook. haha look so sweet and compatible can. haha

it's 9:09 PM now

Friday, May 7, 2010

TO DO LIST:

IDEA FOR DS PROJECT
ESCALATOR
TOD THINK TANK X 2
TOD JOURNAL
INTECH ASSIGNMENT 1
INTECH ASSIGNMENT 2
~~PQM ... [CHECK ONLINE]~~
~~UPDATE YAS~~

it's 8:16 AM now

Thursday, May 6, 2010

just cried. stupid fool but i feel so oppressed!!! my eyes feel really painful now

love my mummy, sister and b. brother. after a good cry, it's time to get back to my feet and fight the war!

it's 5:52 AM now

i just realise that this blog have been with me for 1 plus years. How time flies. If i continue to use my previous blog, I think it would have been 2 years plus??

Here for a quick update before i go off to bath.

I really hope we can do it. I mean i believe if everyone is WILLING to spend more time FOCUSING on discussing and doing instead of fooling around then it will be good.

I wish I can knock that into their mind.

Really feel like getting a ring to wear .... the urge is strong but saving money comes first.

Just spend 16 bucks the other day at lucky plaza because i brought a box of chocolate liqueurs. =) Finally I brought it home, have been wanting to do so since I start working that time but the one i saw in candy empire is so damn expensive!

I'm waiting for my brother to be back on Friday before eating =)

ya ya i know i'm told i'm stubborn etc but that's me. it's not about being not willing to compromise but there are certain things i see that i should hold a firm stand in and i will make sure i wouldn't waver.

i realise that since school start my life shrink to revolves around family, school work, team mates ... family ... my greatest strength and support.

it's 3:24 AM now

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

i think some parts are a little extra, but that to do they want to whack then let them whack lor. who ask me to have a brain that process info so slowly.

and i'm getting a little piss off by something else... seriously

it's 5:54 AM now

Saturday, May 1, 2010

music plays an important role in my life ... no doubt i admire the korean songs and english songs but i realise music that really touch me, move me are those music with a soul ...

Pan flute...i have always love it. It's truly beautiful ... don't you think that it will be nice if for once, i can be whisk to a faraway magical land ...

another lovely piece of music i discover today is:

it's nice and pleasant. it's amazing how we feel so troubled each day when life itself can be very simple. yet human have to think of things like studies, finance, work, family, friends, etc

it's 10:28 PM now

today it's a sunday.

let's see, i have to complete my intech assignment, tod journals, and write out the plan for the next step regarding design studio...

i better get start!

it's 7:30 PM now

Really love this version of Can't take my eyes off you. Reminds me of Yoga Lin who also sang a short portion on the song during Xin Guang Da Dao. This version is totally cool. Sensual and explosive.

When school starts this semester, I am pretty shock to hear that 2 of my classmates have gotten together during the holiday. It's simply unimaginable that they will be together and yes i still think it's simply unimaginable. hahaha

Anyway Yas and I went to attend a short performance by our school jazz band live performance for CCA opening house the other day. Ih my, I really fall in love with jazz. The singer, pianist, drummer, guitarist, and saxophone player totally rock the place!

LOL i have an absolutely absurd thought the other day that i can't help but chuckling to myself as i thought of it.

Anyway I feel like buying 2 t-shirts, one for 5 bucks and 2 for...? i forget already but wearing t-shirts to school everyday is so easy.

it's annoying that the studio is so freaking cold.

it's 1:38 AM now