Anger give me strength!

been cursing and swearing a lot. yes yes i do curse and swear...i'm not your lovely demure gentle girl next door. maybe other time but not at the moment.

fuck, tomorrow still need to work...cannot push away because the fucking restaurant is always short of staffs.

kns

it's 8:00 AM now

Monday, May 18, 2009

i have to fully let go of him before i can feel at ease in class.

JIA YOU JIA YOU

LIFE IS GOOD JUST KEEP IT GOING

EUDIAMONIA

TO ACHIEVE HAPPINESS, WORK TOWARDS IT, LEAVE NO ROOM FOR REGRETS. JIA YOU I CAN DO IT (:

it's 8:15 AM now

Sunday, May 17, 2009

i am happy i am happy
life is great life is awesome
life is wonderful
the day is great
everything is awesome
i can do it yes i can
i can do it i can do it i know i can

it's 11:03 PM now

smile is something u don't get to see on my face nowadays.

sometimes maybe what i need is just some encouragement ...

everything i do seems to be wrong. this cannot that cannot. it's so screw up. someone please light up my day. please. pull me back up from hell to where i belong...earth.

i got no where to turn to, i can't tell my gfs because they will probably think i am emoing again but this time round, i really need help.

i haven't feel true joy for a long time.

do i have to reach the limit and burst out crying each time in order to get more comfort ... that's so tiring.

it's 3:45 AM now

Friday, May 15, 2009

Kiss the Rain is really an awesome piece of melody. Haven't hear it for a long time but happen to chance upon it on sh blog.

anyway super duper tired now. and there's work tmr. i'm already thinking of quiting... maybe after the coming 3 weeks of holiday.

haiz this year 19 next year 20. i am going to be a young adult soon and i have never really experience life before. haiz... pathetic. it sucks.

anyway it's confirm, a A1 size model. how the hell are we suppose to bring here and there? i really wonder. and i want my mp3 now. damn wonder when cf friend aunt is coming down. no point getting my mp3 after the project ends. kk going to sleep.

hate it when my mum nag. I'M 19 HELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLOOOO

it's 7:44 AM now

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

alright here to blog...because i am bored. damn i should have brought my journals here to do but how would i know that we can leave after presenting. right? haha. anyway heard from a classmate that we are really going to do a scale 1:10 model. do you know how damn big that model is going to be. A1 size!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! omg. and need to use true materials somemore. damn what i earn is not enough to pay for all the school expenses.

haiz greater details will be out later during design studio tutorial. haiz. anyway talking about work...haiz how should i say.

alright here's the story: a male colleuege wants to take a leave next saturday and sunday but the supervisor told him that he need to get the 3 of us to work inorder for him to take leave. now the problem lies in the sunday not saturday because all 3 of us will be working on saturday.

now the thing is i really don't want to work. there's still many school work undone and it's like damn. i really don't feel like saying anymore. making my blood boil early in the morning is not good for my health.

on the bright side i am going to eat yong tau fu later. finally. i have been thinking of it since don't know when. haha

it's 6:27 PM now

Listening to "It's time to disco" at the moment.

Gosh, it brings back happy memories. The whole song just lift up my mood level.

At this point, right now, all the worries are cast to a side. I know I will be back to complain about more stuffs and to pour all my woes and those unhappy stuffs here but it's time to stop being the highly irritated girl.

it's 3:23 AM now

Saturday, May 9, 2009

i'm so empty now... i really doesn't feel like smiling. things that will make me smile doesn't make me smile. things that are suppose to make me happy didn't. imagine how hard it is having to put on a smile for the customers. then again, some customers are really sweet.

haiz, alright let's set an aim today. i shall complete 4 pieces of A1 drawings. I CAN DO IT!

damn

it's 5:31 AM now

Thursday, May 7, 2009

here to blog again. shall try and finish 6 pieces of A1 drawings on fri, sat and sun. thanks god i am only working on sat.

anyway hmm, there's some thoughts that are going through my mind... i want to blog it out but at the same time, i'm not sure how should i go about blogging about it.

because you see, sometimes people don't understand what you are blogging about and in turn, they may judge you by what you blog.

and i better don't get down with flu otherwise someone is going to get it from me.

right now, life just need to revolves around studies, health, fitness and r/s with family and friends. the rest doesn't matter. it's ironic but well, you can say that i am a person that is easily content. there's good or bad but right now, i think it's great.

when i get my mp3, i will go cycling in the gym with music as my motivation.

and i need to buy those packet coffee... there's no more at home. the best thing is, i have no more money.

by right, this week i will get my cheque for last month work.

it's 4:12 AM now

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

i realise that when school starts, i am blogging frequently.

just wanna say that i glad i manage to mix around with people older than me without feeling weird or extra.

finally, the feeling doesn't exist anymore. in fact it's fun with older people that behave at my age. hahaa

it's 7:39 AM now

i find myself looking forward to work in the sense that i will seeing my colleagues that i have not seen for days; especially the chefs and the bartenders.

they are fun and entertaining. even though they always make fun of me but it's really a good laugh.

it's 3:12 AM now

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

in split second i have already made my choice that i will not wear contact lens again ... not in the near future.

i don't care if people think that i doesn't look nice if i wear specs.
i don't care if i cannot get myself any modeling jobs just because i need to rely on my specs.
i don't care how irritating it can be when specs keep sliding off or having to clean it when water drops on it or what so ever.

i am sticking with specs.
i shall change a specs soon.

i had my first encounter with contact lens and that is enough... for now.

i don't like having to do something that i don't like i hate being force to do things like that.

i don't give a damn.

it's 7:04 AM now

Monday, May 4, 2009

when all your ideas are rejected, it's time to look up.

why?

either u look up and hopefully try to get inspirations

or

u look up and pray. hopefully god does exist and grant a miracle

it's 6:20 AM now

Saturday, May 2, 2009

shit. terrible mood swings.

anyway i nearly cry during work today because i close the drawer while my thumb is there so yup, my thumb got kiap between. freaking pain!

haiz..i really need to exercise more often. let see, tomorrow i shall go running again because i really cannot tahan going to gym.

it's time to run fast...

ultimately no matter how many times people keep telling you...but when you doesn't believe it yourself, everything is still the same

feeling hollow right now... anyway this is my 100th post (:

像一陣細雨　灑落我心底　那感覺如此神秘
我不禁抬起頭看著你　而你並不露痕跡
雖然不言不語　教人難忘記
那是你的眼神　明亮又美麗
啊......　有情天地　我滿心歡喜

it's 6:45 AM now