Had a dream last night that affirm 3 things in my mind. At the same time it leave me with really mixed feelings.

1) My boyfriend must definitely be taller than me, there's no doubt about it. In the dream I felt so uncomfortable when he embrace me from the back.

2) The feeling of having someone there for you, to give you warmth is really so...comforting, the feeling is so strong. No words can describe how i felt ...

3) Despite point no.2, i'm not ready for a r/s. in the dream i hurt him deeply by my actions ... that's something i'm really afraid will happen in the reality; saying yes but back out after that ...

the emotions that i'm having now is really hard to describe ...

but i know i will wait ... it's not about what my mom said, but it's more of my mindset ...

this is a post that i really want to post up not because I want people to know but because it's something i want to record ... so that i know ...

a part of me wish that the dream will continue tonight, this time round, i promise i wouldn't hurt u anymore ...

it's 5:56 AM now