I'm here for a quick post before I proceed to clearing the table. Shall not comment about today event first because i'm not really in a good mood and i don't want to offend anybody with what i want to say.

i just want to say that i'm glad that that cny is here soon, not because i can get hongbaos or because i can slack because this year cny is all about projects and more projects. i'm just happy that i need not see that person for the next 4 days and hopefully i can clear out my thoughts by then. ironically speaking, i Wonder why do i even think so much about it.

i know i can do it, i can stop myself from having depressing thoughts and i know that i can overcome everything and complete the last lap of year 1. in the past when i am reduce to this kind of depressing state, i want to have people pushing me on but unfortunately i have come to realise that no one is really there so i will do it, on my own.

i just want him to stop toying with my feelings, giving me so much hopes yet destroying it the next moment. and i just want myself to stop being such a stupid girl. i can live happily, with or without him. i want back my old cheerful self instead of the highly emotional girl who stop smiling and laughing at every single things. i want to stop those tears that keep threatening to well out every now and then.

i can do it, yes i can. i just want to have them around me, that's enough. really want to thank cf so much because though she may not understand but at least she is the one that i can really talk to her about the issue.

apparently it has been a long time since i last wrote a long post and it's an emo post.

life is full of ironic ...

it's 4:04 AM now